Transforming Your Relationship with Your Adult Children

As a health and wellness coach, I often remind my clients that relationships—like our bodies and minds—evolve over time.

One of the most profound shifts happens when our children grow into adults. The role we once played as protectors and decision-makers must give way to something new: partnership, respect, and trust.

A recent Huffington Post article outlined six habits that can truly transform these relationships. At the heart of each is a simple truth: our adult children need us to love them as capable individuals, not manage them as if they were still children.

That means listening more than advising, offering support without rescuing, and respecting boundaries even when they feel uncomfortable. It also means stepping away from blame and instead focusing on repair when old wounds surface.

One practice that resonated with me is the idea of doing a “relationship check-in.” Just as we monitor our health, it’s wise to ask our adult children how our relationship feels to them. Questions like “Do you feel supported?” or “What do you value most about our conversations?” open the door to honesty and growth.

Boundaries are another area where health parallels relationships.

Just as physical boundaries protect our well-being, emotional and relational boundaries protect the health of our bond. When our children set them, it’s not rejection—it’s an invitation to connect more clearly and respectfully.

Client Takeaways & Tips:

• Pause before offering advice. Ask: “Do you want my thoughts, or do you just want me to listen?”
  
  

• See your child as capable. Affirm their strengths instead of rushing to solutions.
  
  

• When conflict arises, focus on repair, not blame. A sincere apology goes far.
  
  

• Schedule relationship check-ins, just like wellness check-ups.
  
  

• Respect boundaries as acts of love, not distance.
  
  

Our children may no longer need us to carry them across the playground, but they still need our steady presence. By shifting how we show up, we can deepen our bond in this new stage of life.