The Stories We Tell Ourselves: Revisiting Narrative Therapy as a Powerful Tool for Healing and Growth
Not long ago, I wrote about how the stories we tell ourselves shape our health, mindset, and overall wellbeing. Recently, I’ve been drawn back to this topic because it continues to be such a powerful tool in my work with clients.
Time and again, I’ve seen how uncovering and rewriting these inner narratives can open the door to healing, self-compassion, and transformation.
As an Integrative Health and Wellness Coach, I’ve noticed that many of us carry quiet, limiting stories that define how we see ourselves: “I’m not strong enough.” “I always fall short.” “Good things never last.” These stories often go unquestioned, yet they influence our choices, our confidence, and even how our bodies respond to stress.
That’s why I’ve been using narrative therapy more intentionally in my sessions lately—and I continue to be amazed by its impact.
We Are Not Our Problems
Narrative therapy rests on a liberating truth: we are not our problems. The Australian therapists Michael White and David Epston introduced this approach to help people step back from their problems and see that those problems are not who they are—they are simply stories that have been told and retold over time.
When someone says, “I’m lazy,” or “I always mess things up,” they’re not stating an absolute truth—they’re describing a narrative that may have taken root years ago. Once we recognize that, we can begin to question it, explore where it came from, and—most importantly—rewrite it.
How It’s Changing Lives
In my coaching practice, I’ve seen clients make profound shifts as they begin to re-author their stories. One client who always believed she was “bad with follow-through” began to see how that story ignored the many times she had shown dedication and care for others. Another realized that his long-held belief that he “wasn’t good enough” had silenced parts of himself that were creative, capable, and deeply kind.
As these stories evolve, so does the person. Self-criticism softens. Energy returns. A new sense of possibility takes shape. Narrative work doesn’t erase the past—it helps us see it through a fuller, more compassionate lens.
Start Listening to Your Story
If this idea resonates, try simply noticing the stories that surface in your day-to-day life. Ask yourself:
Is this story true—or is it just familiar?
Does it serve the person I’m becoming?
What might a more life-giving version of this story sound like?
Our stories matter. They are the framework through which we make meaning and find direction. And the beautiful truth is: you are not bound by the old ones. You can always begin again, authoring a story that reflects your strength, resilience, and growth.
Your story is still being written—and you hold the pen.
