The Power of Focusing on What We Can Control

I recently had the opportunity to hear Shankar Vedantam, host of the Hidden Brain Podcast, speak about human behavior and resilience. One insight from his talk deeply resonated with me and the work I do as an Integrative Health and Wellness Coach.

Shankar shared how essential it is to recognize the boundary between what we can control and what we can’t. So often, when we’re facing a difficult situation—whether it’s a health crisis, a job loss, or a relationship challenge—we become overwhelmed by focusing on the aspects that are out of our hands. This only amplifies anxiety, helplessness, and frustration.

However, when we intentionally shift our focus to what we can control, something powerful happens. We start to reclaim agency. We realize that even if we can’t change the circumstances, we can choose how we respond. We can control our mindset, our daily efforts, our self-care, and the way we reach out for support. We can influence outcomes through the actions available to us, even if they are small.

Vedantam emphasized that letting go of what we cannot control—like other people’s reactions, random events, or past outcomes—frees up mental and emotional energy. This clarity creates real efficacy. It allows us to act with purpose rather than being swept away by forces beyond our reach.

This is a core component of resilience. Resilience isn’t about never falling; it’s about having the strength and flexibility to get back up and keep moving forward. By separating what’s controllable from what’s not, we can direct our energy toward what truly matters, build confidence, and navigate life’s inevitable challenges with greater calm and optimism.

Resilience has been on my mind a lot lately, and I will be sharing a series of blogs on this topic. My colleague, Jennifer Reece, and I have been diving deeply into resilience as we research for a series of presentations we’re giving, and I look forward to sharing these insights with you.