Growing With Trauma: The Quiet Strength of the Wounded Healer

I was recently reminded, by a fabulous personal trainer, how trauma can shape us without defining our limits.

He’s at the very top of his field, a model of discipline and expertise. What most people don’t know is that he suffered three major concussions as a young adult. The fact that he now coaches others with such clarity and purpose stopped me in my tracks. His story isn’t one of “pushing past” trauma. It’s one of growing with it.

As an integrative health and wellness coach, I spend a lot of time sitting with people’s pain—not fixing it, not rushing it, simply honoring it. Authors like Nicole J. Sachs, LCSW, in Mind Your Body, and Bessel van der Kolk in The Body Keeps the Score have helped us understand that trauma leaves deep imprints on the body and nervous system. These impacts are real. They can be life-altering. Nothing about trauma is simple, and it should never be minimized.

But here is the subtle truth I’ve witnessed over and over: when we meet our trauma with compassion and curiosity, something begins to shift.

The same wounds that once closed us off can open unexpected pathways to self-understanding. They can deepen our empathy, sharpen our priorities, and expand our sense of what truly matters.

My trainer reminded me that our painful experiences don’t have to be the end of the story. When we learn from them—gently, at our own pace—they can become a source of wisdom. And in time, they can equip us to walk alongside others who are hurting, not as experts, but as fellow travelers who understand the terrain.

Trauma shapes us. But with care, connection, and support, it can also grow us—into people who carry both tenderness and strength, and who can offer that presence to a world in need.